"I do wish there were a way to have those sorts of experiences and still have children when you have all the energy and stamina and health of your early 20s, but for me, that wasn't an option," she said. "I think you just need to play the cards you're given in life and keep looking forward with minimal regrets."

However, she had to think long and hard when a 25-year-old friend recently asked whether she should have children now, before pursuing her dream of going to midwifery school, or go to school and delay having kids.

"After a great deal of thought, I advised her to have children now and delay going to school and working for a couple of years," she said in an email from Laos, where she and her 2-year-old son and husband, who works for a humanitarian development organization. "So, I guess that suggests that if it's a viable option to have children younger and then pursue some of your academic and career dreams, I do think that can be preferable to waiting until much later to have children."

Heated discussion on whether to delay

The implications of having children later in life became a heated topic recently after an article in The New Republic reported about potential negative medical consequences of delayed child-bearing.

But even women who have gone through difficult pregnancies late in life said they came out of them better for it. Cynthia Falardeau was 36 when she conceived in 2002 through in vitro fertilization after 11 years of trying. Still, doctors told her she might not carry to term.

She entered the hospital during the 24th week of her pregnancy because of complications. She spent nine weeks in the antepartum floor for expectant mothers who require close observation before active labor. When she delivered her son, Wyatt, at 33 weeks, his right arm from the forearm down required amputation.

"Instead of that first day being joyous, I felt like I had been hit by a truck," she said in an iReport. "I was so afraid my husband was going to leave me. I felt like I failed him; I didn't deliver the perfect child for him."

Despite the loss of Wyatt's limb, and a later diagnosis with autism, Falardeau and her family have moved on with the help of modern science and prayer. In the nine years since Wyatt's birth, she credits the "mental tenacity" that she acquired through that experience with helping her train to run a dozen half marathons, triathlons and even a half-Ironman.

"I believe that like most great soldiers and athletes, my story is about achieving a goal through mental endurance. Although I would spend nine weeks fighting to carry our son one more day through the holiday season, I gained a greater appreciation for my life and a renewed sensitivity for women who fight each day just to survive."

When the real work begins

Deanne Delahoussaye of Orlando, Florida, says pregnancy was just the first mile in her parenting marathon. The real work began after her children were born and continues to this day.

The "Hot Mess Mom" blogger had three boys in three and half years, amounting to nearly five years of getting pregnant, being pregnant and recovering from giving birth. She recalls lots of crying, exhaustion and yelling, swollen ankles, gas, heartburn, late-night bathroom trips and "porno boobs."

"It is impossible for me to think about pregnancy without feeling relief. Relief that those years are behind me," she said in an iReport. "I loved the 'miracle' aspect of it, loved feeling the kicks and hiccups and little flutters when they would move. I did not love the rest of it."

After the birth of her third son, she lost herself while trying to juggle a career with being a mommy, she said. As she began to make friends with other soccer moms (and dads) who shared her struggles, she began to "resurface."

"I began to take time for myself. Not a lot, but some. And some was enough. A glass of wine with girlfriends. A solo trip to the mall. An hour in a chair reading a book while leaving the kids in front of the television. Leaving a wet or dirty diaper untended for an extra 10 minutes so I could finish a chapter," she said in an e-mail during a family weekend in the mountains.

"I felt guilty. Then I felt less guilty. Then I felt entitled. I knew I deserved it. I deserved some ME time. I was a better mother and a better wife when I made myself a priority."

She offered this advice to mothers, new and old: As soon as you're comfortable, take time off, whether it's 15 minutes or an hour or a day. Let your partner handle things for a while, and remember, it's not the end of the world if he or she puts the diaper on wrong or feeds the baby Stage 2 food instead of Stage 3, she said.

"You are more than an incubator and more than a parent. Sometimes that's hard to remember. Be true to YOU. Change is good. Change is a part of life. You will grow. You will change, but don't become what you 'think you should be' now that you are a mom."