"I thought the questions were stupid," she said.
She added that people should also recognize relationships for what they really are, and sometimes a relationship may be just about sex.
Married With Bad Sex
Kerner said sex is important to any good marriage. He said he finds that many couples argue about an unsatisfying sex life more than money or housework.
"Stress can take a major toll on your sex life," he writes. "For men, work-related stress is particularly likely to inhibit desire, while women are often more susceptible to stressors that originate at home."
Although most couples experience stress, the couple's section contains a list of 40 true-or-false questions designed to determine if there is a lot or little positive energy in the relationship.
- Little arguments tend to escalate into bigger fights.
- After we fight, one of us tends to hold a grudge.
- Even if we sleep in the same bed, I feel like I'm sleeping alone.
Kerner said that the exercises in the book help couples understand their feelings about sex, gender stereotypes and even how parents shape one's sexual behavior.
"Good sex, connected sex, is about the mind, body and spirit," he said. "It is about being on a connected journey with a person. It can sometimes get taken for granted."
Kerner said it is important to understand who the program is likely to help.
"It is not for the couple having great sex, or for the couple heading to divorce court," he said.
Chores Connected To Sex?
In the book, Kerner uses stories about various types of couples.
With one couple, the wife, Lauren, did all the chores while her husband, David, happily watched TV. She started to view sex as another chore.
"Lauren tried to talk to David about pitching in more around the apartment and though he nodded as if he heard the words, his actions didn't change," Kerner writes.
Lauren grew resentful, so she went through the detox, hoping it would bring about change. After Lauren allowed David to cook and clean for himself, he started to understand her feelings.
Finally, he tried to pitch in more around the house.
David, who had grown up in a traditional household, had expected the same type of home life with his wife.