While obituaries are usually reserved for sharing a person's highlights, a 59-year-old Utah man decided to use his to shed some light on some questionable parts of his life -- including a few secrets, lies and a possible criminal past.

KSL-TV reported that Val "Rocky" Patterson died from throat cancer on July 10, but that he wrote his own obituary in the first person last fall.

Patterson's obituary was published in the Salt Lake Tribune and in a light-hearted tone described his being "Banned for Life" from Disneyland and SeaWorld San Diego, and that the doctorate degree from the University of Utah he received was actually a paperwork mistake, and that he didn't know what the letters "PhD" even stood for.

He also attested to his secret rebellious side.

"Now to that really mean Park Ranger; after all, it was me that rolled those rocks into your geyser and ruined it. I did notice a few years later that you did get Old Faithful working again," Patterson wrote.

In addition, he confessed to a mystery that's more than 40 years old.

"As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest," Patterson wrote.

His wife of 33 years, Mary Jane, told the TV station that every word of the obituary is true, including his remorse over his smoking habit and how he felt that it had cut his life short.

"My regret is that I felt invincible when young and smoked cigarettes when I knew they were bad for me. Now, to make it worse, I have robbed my beloved Mary Jane of a decade or more of the two of us growing old together and laughing at all the thousands of simple things that we have come to enjoy and fill our lives with such happy words and moments," he wrote.

Patterson requested that his family not hold a funeral or burial for him, but instead a celebration of his life will be held -- in casual dress -- among those who knew him.

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