If you're going to talk on the phone, make like a polite smoker and choose a corner or nook, lower your head in shame and exhale into the corner, not the crowd, keeping the (noise) pollution to a minimum.

Heed the flight attendants' directives

Actually turn off your personal electronic devices.

The FDA is serious about this; even in airplane mode, little bleepy things just might interact with equipment, they say.

I know it feels like soooo much work to have to hold the button down AND THEN slide your finger across the front, but, you know. Safety first.

Don't bug anyone's work e-mail

No matter how brilliant the business insight you had during your fourth glass of Glogg, it's not worth logging in to your work account.

This is the one time of year we 9-to-5ers get a food-filled four-day weekend all at the same time. Honor it. Be grateful.

It's what the pilgrims and Native Americans would have wanted.