He became judgmental. He was angry at his parents, and at people who questioned his integrity. Mr. Accommodation was becoming a Pharisee.
He realized that the battle wasn't just with his father -- it was with himself.
"I saw the dark side of myself, and I realized that I'm no better than anyone else."
A turning point came during an individual counseling session. He told his counselor that he felt like he bent again and again, but his dad wasn't changing.
"When can I give up on my relationship with my dad?" he asked his counselor.
The counselor's reply:
"When your heavenly father gives up on his relationship with you."
A Christmas gift from Dad
Andy and his father still seem to be following the counselor's advice. They haven't given up on one another.
When his father celebrated his 80th birthday at First Baptist, Andy was there to pay tribute. He called his father his hero, and paused to gather his emotions several times.
Charles took off his glasses and wiped tears from his eyes.
One person who was not there was Anna Stanley.
Andy says his mother is his biggest fan. She watches DVDs of his sermons throughout the day, and insists her caregivers join her.
He says his parents rarely talk anymore.
"There is no animosity," he says. "She'll ask about him: 'How's Charles?' She watches him on television."
He's heard the rumors about his parents' divorce -- that his father was unfaithful. But he insists they are false -- that his father did everything he could to save the marriage.
Andy is vague about his mother's condition. He says she is under 24-hour care and he visits her often.
Only he and his sister, Becky, know the truth, he says. (Becky declined to talk after initially agreeing.)
"I love my mom. In her prime, she was an incredible woman," Andy says. "Something just caught up with her, and my dad took all the grief for her."
Charles doesn't seem to spend a lot of time reflecting on that grief. He's still preaching and traveling the world. One of his favorite pastimes is going to bookstores to sign copies of his book. (His latest, "The Ultimate Conversation: Talking With God Through Prayer" was just released.)