JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Shardea Thomas-Gay has stayed pretty strong, basically going through the motions since her younger sister was killed two years ago Friday.
But lately it's really started to sink in.
"I feel like this happening to our family, it was supposed to grow us stronger, but in certain instances it's made us weaker," said Thomas-Gay, whose 20-year-old sister Kalil McCoy was shot and killed in 2011. "You know, I don't even know how to talk to my brother anymore. It's hard for me to have a conversation with my mom when she starts to talk about Kalil. I don't want to talk about it because it hurts and I don't know what to say, and I know I can't replace Kalil for either one of them, and I'm not going to have that bond that I had with my sister."
"I have a lot of hard nights, I cry every day, I cry every night," said Lynnette Roebuck, McCoy's mother. "I have to talk to myself so I can stay sane, and I know it's probably crazy to say something like that, but I'm just being real. It's really been hard for me. God gave me four kids. I only have three now. He gave me a set of twins, and I only have one, and it's kind of hard to look at my son and not see his sister."
McCoy's family says it knows there's nothing that will bring her back and that million dollar smile and heart that loved to dance. But her family has decided to sue for wrongful death against the four men involved, including the shooter's aunt, whose car Frederick Wade was driving when he shot and killed McCoy.
Wade is serving life in prison for fatally shooting the Andrew Jackson senior in the head after they left Plush nightclub and had a fight over rolling up her window.
Classmate Jonathan Brooks was sentenced to 15 years in prison for helping hide McCoy's body in the woods of a Tallyrand neighborhood. Alfred Mears and Kenard Mahone are expected to be released from prison next week after serving less than a year as accomplices in the killing.
"Even if you can garnish the prison wages and say, 'Alright, $1 a month you have to pay to Kalil McCoy's foundation or trust or to help her have a park,' that's justice," said attorney John Phillps, who's representing McCoy's family.
Thomas-Gay feels they'll never have complete justice because she has to honor her sister instead of watching her shine.
"I'd rather be on the field watching her dance. I'd rather be on the field screaming and cheering for her, things that have been taken away from us that we'll never be able to do again," Thomas-Gay said. "I have to go on YouTube to watch videos and things like that. Tomorrow's a horrible day, a horrible day -- that's what tomorrow is."
McCoy's family who plans to honor her at Andrew Jackson High School on Friday.
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