Taming temper tantrums

Meltdowns are a normal part of becoming independent

If you've ever been out in public while your child has a meltdown, you know that temper tantrums can be frustrating and embarrassing. The truth is, they're actually a normal part of developing independence for kids. Child psychologist Dr. Kate Eshleman with Cleveland Clinic Children's recommends ignoring the behavior as long as your child is in a safe place while it's happening.

"We kind of acknowledge that the child is experiencing a certain thought or feeling but not paying too much attention to it," she explained. "So, yes, I realize you want that toy but we're not going to get it today - and then not really paying any more attention to it."

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Tantrums are most common between the ages of one and four and then decrease when children start school.  Eshleman says parents can avoid tantrums in younger children by knowing and avoiding triggers. For example, if your child is tired, it's probably not a good idea to take them grocery shopping.

If a tantrum happens at home, Eshleman says it's okay to let kids have the tantrum in a safe place, like their room. When they're done expressing their thoughts and feelings, they can rejoin the situation.

Parents should remember to remain calm during a tantrum because kids model behavior - the more frustrated you get, the more frustrated they will become. During a tantrum it will be hard for kids to think rationally, so Eshleman says ideally it's best not to engage with them.

"If they're crying and upset and they're keeping you away from dinner or keeping you away from attending to another child that is really in their favor, so we don't want to provide that opportunity, so trying not to speak to them during the episode is probably best," she said.

Tantrums may feel like they last an eternity, but most last 2 to 15 minutes. If your child is having violent tantrums that last longer than 15 minutes, it may be a sign of a more serious problem, so be sure to discuss it with your pediatrician.