How to help a loved one who paid a scammer

If scammers find the right buttons to push at the wrong time — like when we’re distracted or stressed — any of us might just pay them or share information.

If someone trusts you enough to admit to you that they’ve been scammed, especially if the scammer is still in touch with them, the Federal Trade Commission has some advice to help guide you as you help them:

  • Lead with empathy. Respond with kindness and concern instead of criticizing or expressing disappointment. Scams can happen to anyone. Keep lines of communication open with a kind, concerned response.
  • Let them tell their story. Talking about a scam experience helps you both understand what happened. And talking about the scam also helps both of you spot it in the future.
  • Validate their story. The only person at fault here is the scammer — not your friend or family member. It’s a scammer’s job to steal money or information, and they’ll target anyone. Ask them not to blame themselves and, instead, blame the scammer.
  • Ask what we can do next together. See if their personal information was involved, too, so identity theft might be a concern. And see if they might want to report the scam. Their story can help protect friends, family, their community, and themselves, as well as helping law enforcement agencies like the FTC fight that scam.

Want more help for your friend or family member? Here are some resources:


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