Nearly 2 million people in the U.S. are expected to be diagnosed with cancer this year, and many of them are parents.
When a parent hears the word cancer, one of the first thoughts isn’t about treatment. It’s about their children.
“When someone gets cancer, the entire family is affected,” said Dr. Justin Yopp, a psychologist with UNC School of Medicine.
For families with children at home, one of the hardest parts can be explaining a cancer diagnosis in a way kids can understand.
Now, a new website is giving parents personalized guidance for that conversation.
“What should you tell them? How to tell them, when to tell them,” said Yopp.
UNC experts developed the new online tool called FACT, Families Addressing Cancer Together.
“It gives them a customizable language to use,” said Yopp.
The program starts by asking parents a series of questions. When they were diagnosed, what type of cancer they have, what treatments they’re expecting, what is their prognosis?
Then it turns to the family, asking about each child, their age, personality, and how they typically handle change.
“I’m going to say I have not told Jack anything, OK? And I’m going to say that my goals for conversation are to talk about changes to my health, changes to my treatment, and to talk about my diagnosis,” explained Yopp.
The tool suggests simple language parents can use.
“I went to the doctor because I haven’t been feeling well. They told me that I have an illness called cancer. This means that tiny cells in my body have lumped together and are growing in a way they’re not supposed to,” explained Yopp.
The idea isn’t to give parents a script, but a place to start.
“If you have a child who can speak and communicate verbally, it is almost always the right thing to do to tell your child about the cancer,” said Yopp.
And researchers say when children are included in honest conversations …
“Children do OK when they can see their parents emotionally vulnerable,” said Yopp.
The program also prepares parents for difficult situations: what if my child gets upset? What if they don’t want to talk? Or the one question many parents fear most, are you going to die?
The website also helps parents prepare for some of the questions children often ask including: why did you get cancer? Did I do something wrong? And will you get better?
The website is free and available to families anywhere. Parents can find it at uncfact.org.