JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – Year after year, Florida produces some of the zaniest news in the country, and 2017 was no exception.
These jaw-dropping headlines crop up so often in the Sunshine State, there are Twitter accounts (we're looking at you, @_FloridaMan) and Reddits dedicated to keeping track of them all.
So, as the clock counts down to the New Year, let's look back at the 10 strangest stories that put Florida on the map this year -- and not necessarily in a flattering way.
Here they are, in no particular order:
Florida man tries to conceal $1,000 cash in rectum
Let's just say this was no ordinary cash withdrawal. This particular case arose from a routine traffic stop. Deputies say the bills were discovered after a "necessary but undesirable process for everyone involved." No kidding.
Florida man sits on gun, shoots self in penis
Sometimes the headlines write themselves. We can't even imagine explaining this one to the ER nurse, but we're guessing it started something like this: "You see, what had happened was..."
Florida woman throws nacho cheese at 7-Eleven employee
Sometimes, it's just nacho day. Where to begin with this one? For starters, this story may be the best proof yet that the customer isn't always right -- even if they don't like an employee's attitude. At the end of the day, this customer had to say cheese.
Dead shark surfaces in parking lot of Florida Walmart
This next one just goes to show there's no typical call for law enforcement -- any fin goes. In Florida, we expect to encounter sharks and other marine life, especially in beach or waterfront communities. At the grocery store? Not so much.
Florida woman charged with DUI on horse
This is purely speculation, but we're guessing this was a spur of the moment decision. Thanks to this story, we finally know what happens if you're seen galloping on horseback down a busy highway while you appear to be intoxicated.
Spider-Man comes to the rescue after Irma strikes Florida
Many heroes emerged in the wake of Hurricane Irma, but this may be the most literal one. Neighbors in a South Florida community spotted Spider-Man, who apparently traded in projectile webs for chainsaws, helping out in the storm's aftermath.
Opossum breaks into Florida liquor store, gets drunk as a skunk
It turns out Florida man's antics aren't limited to men and women. An opossum became something of a celebrity after finding its way into a liquor store and quenching its thirst by cracking open a bottle of bourbon. In fairness, how else was it supposed to pass the time?
Florida church changes sign after message misinterpreted as sexual
Oh, Lord. Sometimes things get lost in translation, and the response to this sign proved to be a learning experience for the wordsmiths at one central Florida church.
Florida man arrested for calling 911 to complain about restaurant portions
Stick a fork in him. He's done. This guy bit off more than he could chew.
Florida couple receives 65 pounds of marijuana in Amazon order
Did someone say special delivery? This Florida couple got way more than they bargained for when they opened up the plastic bins they ordered online.
Because there's no shortage of bizarre stories out of Florida, we couldn't include them all. So after reading through these, let us know what we've missed.