Divorce is one of life’s most emotionally disruptive experiences, and fear often takes center stage early in the process. In Episode 7 of Split Happens, host Katie Garner sits down with board-certified marital and family law attorney Jay Henderlite of Sasso Guerrero & Henderlite to talk candidly about fear, anxiety, and the myths that often make divorce feel more overwhelming than it truly is.
“I’m Getting Everything, You’re Getting Nothing” — A Common (and Baseless) Fear
One of the most common anxieties people experience during divorce is the belief that they will lose everything — their home, their finances, or even their time with their children. According to Henderlite, this fear is almost universal and nearly always unfounded.
In his experience, virtually every divorce case includes a moment where one spouse claims they will “get everything.” While emotionally charged, these statements are not rooted in how divorce law actually works. Florida family law operates within a clear legal framework designed to ensure fairness, not punishment or total loss.
“The idea that one person walks away with everything and the other gets nothing almost never happens,” Henderlite explains. “There are legal parameters, and emotions don’t override the law.”
Why the Beginning Feels the Hardest
Fear tends to peak at the start of a divorce, when life feels unsettled and the future uncertain. People are suddenly forced to trust a legal process they may not understand, and in some cases, decisions may ultimately rest with a judge. While that can feel unsettling, it also provides structure and fairness.
“Most of us are conditioned to believe that ‘different’ means ‘bad,’” Garner notes. “So when everything changes at once, anxiety fills the gap.”
Understanding Marriage as a Legal Contract
One of the biggest mental shifts during divorce is recognizing that marriage is not only an emotional commitment but also a legal contract. That realization often takes time. Henderlite notes that, on average, it takes three to four months for people to move from emotionally driven reactions to a clearer, more practical mindset.
“Time is the great stabilizer,” he says. “It’s very difficult to make good decisions when everything is coming from an emotional place.”
Trust the Process — There Is an Endpoint
Whether a divorce is resolved through agreement or court intervention, there is an endpoint. Assets are divided, parenting plans are established, and financial responsibilities are determined within the structure of the law. Judges exist to ensure fairness, not to favor one side over the other.
The most important takeaway? Divorce does not mean failure — and it does not mean your life is over. For many, it becomes the beginning of a more stable, intentional next chapter.
“You’re not here to suffer forever,” Garner reminds listeners. “This will get resolved, and you will be okay.”
You’re Not Alone
Divorce is common, deeply human, and navigated successfully every day by people from all walks of life. Fear and anxiety may feel overwhelming at first, but with time, knowledge, and the right legal guidance, clarity replaces chaos.
If you’re facing divorce and struggling with uncertainty, know this: fear is normal — but it is not the final chapter.
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Split Happens is a podcast sponsored by Sasso Guerrero & Henderlite, exploring the emotional and legal realities of divorce with clarity, compassion, and real-world insight.