Shelea Daily, local Life Coach, shares her “Love Pyramid” so you can use it to set boundaries and discover your non-negotiables in love and life!
Here is her exercise:
1. Take the time to sit down and write out Exactly what you want in a partner. Be Honest! How will they interact with your family? What is their faith base? What do they look like? Here is your chance to go crazy and just finally say it!
2. Next, let’s talk about what to do with that information. An “umbrella word” is one word that means a whole bunch of things. For example, I might say “financially stable” or “emotionally intelligent”. I know exactly what that means to me but that would be something completely different to someone else. Umbrella words are how we fill the 3 tier pyramid to help us define who we are compatible with. We break that down into three categories.
3. Let me tie this all together with the relationship pyramid (graphic/slide attached). There are three categories in the pyramid.
Tier 1 - Non-negotiables. The deal breakers. Meaning, if this person does not have these qualities you will not date them. You can look back at past relationships and see what was very compatible with you and what was not. Use this as a guide. (I’ll give examples)
Tier 2 - Things that are REALLY important to you but it wouldn’t make you not date them if they didn’t have them, however, you really desire these attributes in a partner. (I’ll give examples)
Tier 3 - The Hot Stuff! This is wear we get all tangled up. In this tier we name all the physical attributes and qualities that we know cause a chemical reaction every time!
Step 1. Look at your big list and create umbrella words for each tier that really explains what you desire in a partner (I’ll give examples)
Step 2. Next time you encounter a potential partner you will easily identify what it is you are being attracted to but also, very early on, know if this person has the qualities you will need to support a healthy and meaningful relationship.
Step 3. Honor the space you’re in and don’t settle. The desires you have are normal and settling out of fear, boredom, or loneliness will only end in heartbreak.